


Let Her Love You

by pikaslew



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 23:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11368158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikaslew/pseuds/pikaslew
Summary: Let her love you, Anders. She loves you so damn much.





	Let Her Love You

_Let her love you, Anders. She loves you so damn much._

That was something that Isabela had told him. She had initially dropped by his clinic because she had a cold, which Anders told her he couldn’t cure, and although she was extremely put out by this she quickly distracted herself with gossip. She told him all about her latest escapades with the rest of the crew while he made her a concoction that he said would at least help a little with her symptoms, and then her words turned to Hawke.

She spoke of her teasingly, at first, but Anders deflected every one of her hints that maybe Hawke wanted more from him, and finally, frustrated, she’d dropped the bombshell before she left.

_Let her love you._

_She loves you so damn much._

It was bullshit, Anders thought, as he mixed up a potion later for one of his many patients. It was just more teasing from Isabela.

And yet she had been so sincere when she told him.

His hands were shaking and had to take a break.

–

The phrase kept popping into his head over the next couple of days. It didn’t matter where he was. In his clinic. Out on the road. In bed. He agonized over whether or not it was true, much to the chagrin of that particular side of the thoughts in his head which he recognized to be Justice. _She’s distracting me_ , he thought to himself, and he went back to working on his manifesto– for two minutes, before thoughts of her overtook him again and the words on the page trailed off and he caught himself smiling.

_Let her love you._

_She loves you so damn much._

–

The words echoed in his mind again a few weeks later when he and Hawke were on a mission to find evidence of a templar plot against mages– she was always, always willing to help him– and they came across a templar threatening a mage and the Justice thoughts in his head, the thoughts usually kept so carefully balanced with his own, all tipped forward at once, like water in a spout, and suddenly everything was terrifying and everything was unjust and everything needed to be _fixed._

Except Hawke, who looked at him with tender eyes, who let one hand trail up to his face, never once pausing because he was all fierce blue fire and a booming voice, and somewhere, somewhere in the back of his mind– 

_She loves you so damn much–_

His thoughts returned to equilibrium. Hawke was standing there, in front of him, and her eyes were concerned, and her hand was on his face, and Anders ran home. 

– 

She came to check on him because of course she did. He was plotting to run away, somewhere where he couldn’t hurt anyone, somewhere where he couldn’t hurt her– 

–and yet. 

Her words stopped him. _Her complete lack of fear over what he had just been_ stopped him. And she was approaching him and he saw the look in her eyes, and from his mouth words were spilling unbidden “You’ve seen what I am. You saw what I almost did to that girl…” 

“I know who you are,” said Hawke. 

_She loves you so_

_damn_

_much_

He kissed her. 

– 

That night he was in her estate. He was having doubts. He’d been having doubts all day; he was doubting everything as he walked into Hightown and into her open door. She turned and looked at him and she smiled at him. 

“When I was in the Circle, love was only a game,” Anders said. And there was that word. _Love._ He dared himself to think that maybe it was true. That maybe it had all been true, all of it, because he needed Hawke the way he needed air, the way he needed to see justice carried out. 

And she took his hand. 

And somewhere in the back of his mind, it was Justice’s thoughts spelling out that it this was actually Right. 

_She loves you,_ those thoughts told him, _so damn much._

**Author's Note:**

> For Team Blue and Angry's Anders Week 2017.
> 
> http://pikestaff.tumblr.com


End file.
